or Why I Looked Behind Me
It’s been a while, folks. But my excuse is solid. I’ve been dying.
Over and over and over again.
“WHAT?!”
Worry not. I’m very grateful for my good health here in the real world and owe an immense thanks to the scientists who created an incredible COVID shield that’s injected directly into my muscle. I didn’t pay a dime for it. It’s amazing.
“You’re not really dying?”
No.
“You shouldn’t joke about that.”
…that’s fair.
But this is true: I’ve been spending a lot of time in the Underworld.
Video Games and Me: a Non-History
I’m not a video game person.
I didn’t grow up in a big gaming household, though I did nerd out with the old school PC Carmen Sandiego games, as well as a Phantom of the Opera game that I LOVED. (It’s legit). We eventually acquired a console, a SEGA Saturn, which my husband insisted was impossible because NO ONE bought that console. “Everyone else had a Nintendo 64”.
We did not. SEGA Saturn. Real.
Eventually my youngest brother was gifted the Nintendo Game Boy and that told us everything we needed to know about our family rankings.
Regardless, I never took to video games. My instincts were terrible and my strategy of mashing buttons while flailing my arms and screaming got me nowhere.
Don’t even get me started on moving the camera around. I’ve decided Link is happier when he’s only looking at the sky and has no idea what’s coming.
Then I met and fell in love with my husband and entered the worlds of Red Dead Redemption, Shadows of Mordor, Death Stranding, and the most brutal of all, Mario Kart.
It used to be so simple, happy days of him slaying enemies while I sat next to him, content with my book. The thing about video game blood though, is that it splatters. Gradually, I became more and more invested in the characters, trials, and outcomes of every game he played.
I did not know I was at the top of the slippery slope.
Way Down Under the Ground
Twitter was screeching, as it always does, and the topic was a new offering from Supergiant Games; Hades.
As a devoted fan of the musical Hadestown, I was intrigued. This could be a game I’d enjoy watching my husband play. But the more I learned about Zagreus, Son of Hades, and his battle to escape the Underworld, the more I realized this was a game I wanted to play.
I told my husband. He was so excited I was asking to play a video game he bought it immediately. No questions asked.
At this point, I hope it’s obvious (to those who have not played Hades) that it’s a spectacular game. So it should come as no surprise that the true gamers of the household could not resist the call of the River Styx and were soon consumed by the Underworld’s maddening delights.
One by one, they advanced through the Underworld’s regions, crushing skulls, slaying witches, and gathering blessings from the Gods. I watched.
This was for the best. I learned quickly that trying to understand new mental and physical concepts with a cacophony of back seat gamers all trying to tell you what to do while they actively recoil every time you do something asinine is…chaos.
So, my husband and two of our boys victoriously rose to the Hades challenge, while the rest of our children made significant progress, and I clapped for everyone.
And then, over a year later, I found myself in a state of mental despair, by which I mean an average Tuesday.
My usual comforts were not offering the distractions I relied on them for. I couldn’t slow my thoughts or get enough air. I felt agitated, frantic, desperate for both concrete action and stillness. Worse, I was angry with myself. I didn’t have time for this. I needed a pause button.
I picked up the Nintendo Switch.
Blood and Darkness
I died so hard.
I’d get my ass kicked and die. I’d turn into stone and die. I’d step in lava and die. Instead of running away from fireballs, I’d run into them…and die.
I loved it so much.
Every last breath sent me back to the beginning, facing new taunts from Hypnos, world-weary advice from Achilles, and romantic advances from anyone with eyes.
Yes, I spent a great deal of time partaking in a variety of violent acts. But Hades offers so much more:
- Complicated Family Dynamics
- Boy/Girl Love
- Boy/Boy Love
- Boy/Gorgon Love
- A Sassy Narrator
- Interior Decorating
- Best Dog
- Emotional Support Boulder
- Bear Claws
- Outstanding Filing Cabinets
- One Committed Fan
- Fishing
“What’s that?” you say? “You can go on a continual rampage of destruction and also find time for whimsy and love?” You bet your gorgon non-ass you can.
It’s the craftsmanship that ultimately makes this mountain of delight work. Hades is a genuine work of art. Each detail, no matter how small, makes an impact on the Underworld. The dead whisper their cause of death as they wander aimlessly through one epic landscape after another. Every room is its own beautiful sentence within the chapter of a level. The style is both modern and timeless, suggesting the comfort of the Gods in any era, so long as power is theirs to wield.
And then the music. Ah, the music! Darren Korb’s gorgeous and exciting score (made all the more stunning by his vocals as Orpheus, alongside Ashley Barrett providing the singing voice for Eurydice) is the pulse of the game. It’s also apropos for daily life here above ground. I often turn to Good Riddance, or Lament of Orpheus when I just need to have FEELINGS, while The King and the Bull aptly prepares me for meetings. In the Blood is my go-to for trying to get the kids out the door for school on time.
It’s the characters in the Underworld (and Olympus) that bring the game to life, each of them written and performed to be distinct and memorable, while clearly remaining integral to the ensemble as a whole. There isn’t a weak link in the bunch. Even Charon sighs with intention.
All the interactions with these characters, be it Zeus, Sisyphus, or Tisiphone is so much fun that they nearly make death in the game to be desired. Sure I had to start all over again but I didn’t care. There was Dusa having a panic attack or Ares asking me for Nyx’s number. I couldn’t get enough of the story and so I happily accepted defeat again and again.
I did worry at one point that my actual gameplay was so poor that the game would run out of dialogue for me. And yes, some of Hypnos’ taunts felt personal. But I didn’t give up and I’m very proud to say that I did eventually beat the game.
So, if I’ve already won, why am I still playing it?
There is No Escape
Has Hades turned me into an official video game player?
Yeah, it has.
Sure, button combos still don’t make sense to me and mostly I really like to talk to characters and collect random items. But at the end of the day, this is a new art form for me that’s finally beginning to click.
I’ve since enjoyed played Undertale, Plants vs. Zombies, and Stardew Valley while tacking cracks at Hollow Knight and Celeste. As you can see, there’s no rhyme or reason to the level of difficulty I’ll choose to jump into.
I’ve also made a vow to a very important young man to play Slime Rancher. It shall be so.
But I digress. (It’s my thing).
Hades provided something else, though. It was profoundly good for my mental health.
“What?! That can’t be true. Video games turn us all into murderers!”
Well, in this case, yes. That’s true.
While I played Hades, I killed a lot of negative self-talk. I embraced my enemies, Failure and Frustration. It turns out we work really well together. I rediscovered a determination I’d thought too pitiful for the real world.
For reasons I still struggle to articulate (how many words later?) the victories of Hades made me feel stronger as the COVID Hydra refused to give up. It gave me a sense of control I could carry into the unknowns of reality. I was happy. Even better, it was a happiness I could actively share with my family as we all found joy in the adventure.
It also reminded me that blessings show up in a lot of different shapes and sizes, and while they’re exciting to have, it’s really important to remember to actually use them.
Get vaccinated.
Lemon Squeezy 